Ravelry links 'o terror and cardie progress report

I wonder why nearly every pattern for monkey toys I can find to knit ends up being terrifying.

I'm quietly relieved that this pattern is no longer available for download, as the one on the right has...well...apparently Lovecraft designed that monkey. Monkey faces should not resemble lady bits quite so closely.

This isn't too bad, though the finished objects that people posted pictures looked NOTHING like this.

This appears to be a monkey/pig crossbreed. At least it isn't nightmare inducing.

Apparently this monkey is also a vampire, judging by that widow's peak.

This has potential, but only if you apparently figure out some short row deal on the face. The third monkey isn't too bad, but the one with the hat on it seems to be posed like it's trying to be sexy, which is disturbing to me.

DEAD MONKEYS! They'd be cute, if their little eyes weren't x's.

And just because it came up in searching for "toy monkey free" on Ravelry, I present the Useless Knit Object of the Day.

I found a dog pattern in a book that I think could be converted relatively easily. It'll be a gift, so I'm not really aiming for that kind of mental scarring.

Oh, and as an update on the blue cardigan; I'm up to nearly the top of the yoke, and will be working on the shoulders soon. I love this sweater, for it requires no seaming up. The body is knit in one bit to a point, you knit the sleeves, then join the whole shebang together and continue on up. Admittedly, it now weighs approximately a ton of wool/alpaca blend, but I think the stitch definition and drape is going to be quite lovely. It will be perfect for cold days. I'm debating if I should make the hood or not...I'll probably try it on and figure out once I've finished the shoulders. This thing knit up stupidly fast, considering I cast on less than a month ago. Ah, the joys of projects!